So I have not posted in over a month, and while that is not terribly shocking taking into account that I am always late in updating this blog I thought I would explain why I have not been around before resuming my usual irregular service.

Essentially; my right lung collapsed and while I cant remember all of what happened I will depict you a general idea of the events that unfolded in a brief bullet point format.

• So one day last month I stand up and I hear a “pop”.
• I take a step forward and realize that Thor has decided to use my chest as a punching bag.
• I walk super slowly and decide that its probably not serious.
• Since every time I move or breath I feel like I will die I decide to go to bed and “sleep it off”.
• 3am. It fucking hurts so hospital it is.
• Ambulance arrives I get oxygen and patches stuck to my body.
• At the hospital I get x-rays, checks and more checks. (with only one lung working my oxygen level is 100% and BPM is 63, my cardio is godlike!)
• They find out that my right lung decided to collapse.
• After consultation they decide to inflate it using a syringe and some sort of dark red liquid (not blood).
• It doesn’t fucking work.
• Lung is still not normal so they decide on a chest drain.
• Due to my obvious sexy’ness and charm I get to have 3 doctors and 3 nurses for a relatively simple procedure.
• Turns out its because I am super toned and as such have the perfect body to be used as a teaching example.
• So I get a fucking tube thrust into my lungs with my adoring audience staring at my chest in awe.
• I wont go into details but it fucking hurts.
• I then spent days in bed with a tube in my lungs and morphine in my bloodstream
• After days of boredom and morphine induced haze they decided to remove it and I hobble home.
• At home I load up on pain killers and spend a whole week reading bladeforums.com and watching movies.
• And here I am.

So just to let you know that I will be getting back to posting on a mostly regular basis.

I do have photographs of the tube and yours truly dying on a bed but my phone hates doing what I tell it to do so it might take awhile for me to post them here.